The TIMES account the Royal wedding. Couldn't have said it better myself. Well maybe that's why you have a job at the Times and I can't get one for summer teehee.

don't hate, appreciate

"There is a toxic mimicry of love, which is a form of Stockholm Syndrome, and this is the ‘love’ one feels for one’s superiors, such as for a royal, or for an abuser. It’s not really love, as we all know, but a subservience that begs the master not to strike us any more. This love is in fact the opposite of what it appears to be: It is fear!

Yes! The general population does, in fact, FEAR any possibility of emancipation from the ridiculous monarchy or from the very need to be governed, because they do not know what they’d do without this obedience."

A popular opinion. Of course the country is all in a tizz about THE WEDDING, everyone's going fucking mad for it, mad to love, mad to live, mad to lie in the road for hours in the cold just to get a glimpse of the wedding car tomorrow morning. Why? Are we all disillusioned government guinea pigs scuttling around putting false expectations on an old-fashioned, elite, hateful/hated monarchy? In buying the WILL LOVES KATE merchandise (which is paying for the wedding by the way, not the taxpayer, but the mug who buys the mug), have I proved all those teacher's who said I'd never amount to anything right? Am I proving myself to be an ignorant, thick, wannabe who is so sad and desperate that I'll spend my whole life aspiring to be a princess? Am I turning into Carrie Bradshaw with all these annoyingly obvious yet rhetoric questions? 

TRUTH IS, I fucking loooooooove the Royal family from a patriotic point of view. I've never known or cared about the fundamental benefits of having a monarchy, (loving them them in a they're so kitsch and English and cute way) until noticing that the wedding seems to have injected some ghastly hatred into the country. Everyone's blogging tweeting statusing about it, and it feels like most people are bent on sticking their stamps on upside down (a mark of treason) and making me feel like a silly uneducated ROYAL GROUPIE. So I've looked into it. And these are my findings on the benefit of having our monarchy. 

The Queen is an impartial symbolic Head of State above politics, commercial and factional interests. She really is. The government could flit forever from left to right but she's impartial and that's really important. We need that! In some countries Head of State and Head of Government are combined, which brings a lot of difficulty. And she doesn't have to change every few years in DIVISIVE elections. 

She's a focus for national unity. The split is felt between believers and non, but ultimately she's the mascot that gets us all up in them bleachers! (People that talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch. Sorry.)

Nations lacking stability and a civil society must be v. jealous of our monarchy. Through monarchy governance, issues and corruption can be dealt with easily and effectively. Monarchy also provides an attractive solution for nations looking for a more representative form of national governance because they represent long-term stability. Think of all the systems in all the world where you can't cross a junction without slipping a policeman a crisp 20$ or you go to jail. Plenty. For all the issues we have in this here country, we don't have issues that ingrained into our lives. That may be irrelevant to why a monarch is good, but she's done away with corruption in this country. As an article I was just reading says, simply, 'The monarch cannot engage in any embezzlement because everything already belongs to her or him.' Ha. 

A Head of State whom we share with 16 other independent countries. This is great for foreign relations baby! It gives us links we never knew we had an that is v. valuable. 

People are always arguing against them on the grounds that they're too-rich, too-elitist and too-fucking-royal to be true representatives of the people. They called Diana "The People's Princess", but what about Kate? Her family may be shockingly upper-upper-middle class, but just two generations ago they weren't AT ALL, ON ANY LEVEL! You can say what you want about social climbers, Catherine is the real people's princess. 

If you still aren't convinced, just don't watch the wedding. It's easily avoidable - if you hate the monarchy you probably hate the man so you probably hate supermarkets so you don't have to be faced with the merchandise and you probably hate the media so you don't have to be faced with their coverage. A taxi man was going on at me the other day about his disapproval of the royals, saying 'It's not that I don't like them, I just don't see how I benefit from them' and I just thought well do YOU have to benefit? So many others do! So many! They're money making gods! I don't benefit from EMA but doesn't mean I disapproved of it. Fuck's sake.

Could I be more excited? Probs not. 

poly styrene

Singing about saving the planet and the power of advertising and all the other stuff we're obsessed with today, she had it down in the freakin 70s!

"Some people think little girls should be seen and not heard
But I think
Oh Bondage up yours!"

since i have no life

I figure I got nothing to lose

 

things am excited about

GARDENING! This morning me an me ma went to bents (scoff scoff) garden centre an I got some beautiful flowers for our shitty garden in Leeds. I mean it is really shitty but I'm going to clean it up on Saturday when I move back and it will be transformed into a luscious foliage party place. There is a brick wall covered in some shit pattern as well so Nightjar an amy will have to sort that out! 

 Blunt and big 

Being happy an getting over it (it being general life)

 Desperately seeking susan

 I get a many many plenty of freckles in this weather. It's the first year I haven't obsessively tried to cover them up with foundation! Could be because I'm getting old and they make me look youthful. Fuck ma life. 

Totally saucy

 "He looked at the girl. And what a girl!"

My dad has this Nicholson collection going on so I've been watching a lot of that when I should be revising. Like, a lot. He is very attractive. I really like him. Am very upset that am not married to him.

the danger of lying in bed

The Erie railroad kills 23 to 46; the other 845 railroads kill an average of one-third of a man each; and the rest of that million, amounting in the aggregate to that appalling figure of 987,631 corpses, die naturally in their beds! You will excuse me from taking any more chances on those beds. The railroads are good enough for me.

you are young

and life is long
and there is time to kill
today

what a lark! what a plunge!

Tonight I lost my bag for about two horrible minutes.
A mysterious suspicious or perhaps judicious man gave it back to me sans credit card.
Well I have N O  M O N E Y on it so who's laffin now ey.
Anyway got me athinkin of all the nice cringe lovely things I would have lost that live in my purse...
two return tickets to Halifax (big up Shibden museum), a fortune cookie fortune that says "Good things will happen to you this Thursday" (excellent), a bookmark from union books (sob) that has the Smiths quote "There's more to life than books, you know. But not much more." Post office business card (why? who needs them? I definitely picked it up in an awkward silence at the counter). Waterstones card (378 points). Two 'University of Leeds' coffee loyalty cards (a refreshing way to reward your loyalty fuck yeah) and cafe nero loyalty card (only need two more ha). Pret loyalty card (one stamp, sly). Body shop store card that says ANNA with a heart next to it on the back. LUU English Society card (which I don't think is even mine wups). FIVE FIRST CLASS STAMPS - so glad the motherfucker didn't get them. A note from someone that says 'You are amazing xxxx' - it was sarcasm before you vomit.

JUST CALL ME GLAMOUR PUSS.

you know what I love about you?

what, dad?
fuck all

lucy chadwick and duffy

Their London home photographed by the Selby. What a terrific trove of wonderful little bits of wonder all wrapped up in an atmosphere of so disgustingly called domesticity. 

Hurray hurrah haroo for easter! These pictures are from 4th April 2009, WHAT a coincidence. Aw cute bunnies aw. 

What a picture! What a roof! What a life! Ain't got no furniture out there but isn't this all anybody wants? Not the roof terrace arty foliage sundial shit itself but the knowledge that the space is there? (Note: hate it so much when people say SPACE, can't cope with oh ya it's such a great space to write.. oh my god. But lack of a better word.)

 I am in love with anybody who drinks tea and is still genuinely cool, drinking it not in an ironic so old its young way or in a I need caffeine to finish my latest project that I'm carrying here in a big black portfolio way but because its fucking boss.

Wonderful. 

In other news: my mother has taken to using the word 'nesh' regularly. It made the occasional special appearance through childhood but now it's back with a kick. NESH. Who the fuck says that? From what I can gather it means cold. As in, "I'm very nesh." It makes me feel so weird. I really wish she hadn't said it. It says 'I was invented in the 80s along with mesh and I was very trendy and stylish SLANG then until all my peeps grew up and got lives, so now am making a reappearance under the guise of loveable quirky retro phrase to be a treasured classic.' Well no. It's not really is it. 

easter weekend

Happy Easter weekend, folks. I woke up EARLY this morning with the fear. Jerome K. Jerome said there is no fun in doing nothing when you have nothing to do, but I'm struggling to see the fun in shitting myself because of exams. I've been home for three weeks now and what have I done? Anna-life-is-short-eat-Falconer hasn't really achieved the transformation into a knowledge sponge she was hoping for, ho no no no. I'm trotting back to Leeds next weekend (post Royal party yeah) so got moving on my mind and with much to be done before then in terms of NOT working there is much to be done in terms of reading thinking elaborating sorting condensing understanding producing. "Today I'm going to sort my life out" she says.

Some pictures here of what's occurred this week. I was painted for Becky's art and art alone - not to satisfy my own nurtured curiosity of what it would be like to walk around a massively overlooked garden in my nuddy pants. Mr. blue da ba dee was then decorated in the park, with attention to the nipples hee hee (that hee hee is very important). The weather has been a scorchifying scorchy treat an so yesterday I got myself a tan didn't I. Ye. It was beautiful. Then we had a sneaky garden party in the rain.. yeassum. We were all like yeah pimms yeah sun yeah chill fit but we were huddled under a table umbrella getting soaked and eating soggy bread. It was very romantic. I had a hat that said "GOLF PUNK" stitched across, it was unbelievably stunning. What the fuck is with boys and fire? As soon as the food has been snorted down the firelighters are all up in ma grill like what. A very English evening - as was the pub quiz we did where the bonus round was to wrap someone in toilet paper. It was a delicious sight. Johnny Bongo big up.

 

a homeless man lays frozen in his giant coat and no one cries for him

so at midnight he rises to solicit my poetry
an enormous animal floats ass-first through the universe
then it notices a taco bell in both eyes at the same time
i've constructed this massive thing that probably doesn't make sense
but appeals overwhelmingly to our melodramatic sensibilities
concerning 'how to live'; like the interesting woman who kneels nightly
to touch the frozen, contorted face of 'the perfect obese man'
i sometimes have an overwhelming urge to confide in you
that i fear i have been exhibiting psychopathic behaviour

Man o man;

baby, this song

Ernest Hemingway

Maybe you'll fall in love with me all over again. 
Hell, I said, I love you enough now. What do you want to do? Ruin me?
Yeah. 
Good, I said, That's what I want too. 

But she did look back;

And I love her for that, because it was so human. So she was turned to a pillar of salt. So it goes. People aren't supposed to look back. I'm certainly not going to do it anymore.

Apologies. I know, I know. I don't know. What can I say.