Tonight I lost my bag for about two horrible minutes.
A mysterious suspicious or perhaps judicious man gave it back to me sans credit card.
Well I have N O M O N E Y on it so who's laffin now ey.
Anyway got me athinkin of all the nice cringe lovely things I would have lost that live in my purse...
two return tickets to Halifax (big up Shibden museum), a fortune cookie fortune that says "Good things will happen to you this Thursday" (excellent), a bookmark from union books (sob) that has the Smiths quote "There's more to life than books, you know. But not much more." Post office business card (why? who needs them? I definitely picked it up in an awkward silence at the counter). Waterstones card (378 points). Two 'University of Leeds' coffee loyalty cards (a refreshing way to reward your loyalty fuck yeah) and cafe nero loyalty card (only need two more ha). Pret loyalty card (one stamp, sly). Body shop store card that says ANNA with a heart next to it on the back. LUU English Society card (which I don't think is even mine wups). FIVE FIRST CLASS STAMPS - so glad the motherfucker didn't get them. A note from someone that says 'You are amazing xxxx' - it was sarcasm before you vomit.
JUST CALL ME GLAMOUR PUSS.
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